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RE: Psychology Addict # 39 | Need For Approval & External Validation

in #psychology3 years ago

People who are insecure and have fragile egos are particularly susceptible to seek external opinions in order to feel better about themselves.

Having spent (too) much time being exactly that person in my adult life, the catalyst for change was having my heart ripped to shreds.
Funny uh? (not funny ha ha funny, but funny peculiar).

It wasn't until that point in my life that I truly 'grew up'. Self survival necessitated it.
And now external approval means less and less nowadays. (with some exceptions)
Your post reminded me of was something I was going to write a post on a while back..
Is there any correlation between insecurity/security, and heartbreak..?
Of course the problem is the subjectivity to be able measure it in any empirical way.
Observation of peoples insecurities, (if you really know a persons life story), seems to have some roots in this.

As children, growing up with love makes for more emotionally secure people, so conversely...(I grew up in the 'so conversely' group, to some degree)
External approval was important .(in retrospect, it was never conscious)

Going through my own emotional crap forced me into reassessing who I really was, and what was of real value -and what values I thought I had, held no value at all.
And thus external approval was then relegated to far far down on my list of priorities.
It's still present to some degree, but I'm aware of when it kick's in, (and fairly quickly.)

True sentience is the key, and unfortunately immersing your time in social media is an activity that takes you directly away from introspective time..

It's a new phenomenon.
Up until this last 15 years or so, introspective time was offered to each of us, just through living your life...
(previously - your bus might be 30 minutes late, so you sit down and just think. You had time. Now you tweet.)


Out of all the comments you kindly take the time to leave me. This is, without a doubt, my very favourite one! I don’t have any study to back this up; but, I think it is safe to say that insecure people are more likely to be affected by a ‘heartbreak situation’. Because of the rejection factor. However, what I found peculiar about your case is how you managed to turn your self-perception around. What I see over and over again, is that people with this sort of behaviour, in such situations, just immediately find yet another relatiship. The cycle starts again!

Amazing comment and evaluation you left me here.
Thank you very much 😊❤️

To be honest, I may well have have jumped back into another relationship (something I've done before), but the climatic point in the relationship ending, was me with my lower leg hanging in half, in hospital, and an enforced 8/9 months laid up in bed. ( and quite a few operations on it... bah blah)

....Introspection time, big time... ( I never had a pesky smartphone!)

Here is something you might like...

I'm gonna have to stop reading your post, you make me think...