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RE: Psychology Addict # 36 | Shaun the Sheep & Marriage

in #psychology3 years ago

"You will agree with me that is much nicer to hear ‘I love when you take a break and we can spend time together’; than ‘You never take time off’. The former indicates warmth, the latter feels like an attack."

This is true, but here is the thing, if he's anything like me, he's probably said something to insinuate this in more ways than 1 and the feedback wasn't picked up on or was simply ignored, the blunt force statement grabs your attention so you realize this isn't a problem to be ignored any longer and usually it comes at one persons breaking point on the issue, while the other person is blissfully still unaware that anything might be wrong. Also the statement " ‘I love when you take a break and we can spend time together’" doesn't really tell you anything about the underlying problem or that there even necessarily is one. Just my thoughts on that part of this piece.

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Oh! This is a wonderful reflection indeed @sevendst19 :) And I see where you are coming from. Sometimes, it feels as if we have no other alternative than initiate the conversation harshly. Exactly because of what you pointed out, the other spouse might not even be aware there is an issue. This is why I believe keeping one's level of conscientiousness in check is a good start! As well as regular productive communication.

Loved your feedback. If I may ask ... do you tend to bottle things up?

I thought so 😉 (so, does my husband!)