RE: Can we create a positive change?
What life, and all the events, situations and instances I have been part of, has taught me so far is the fact that your present and future depends on how you see the past within yourself. All those instances where you triumphed or failed, the moments where your reaction actually helped something or someone or was a cause of further damage, is exactly what your personality will be shaped as. Yes, your subconscious plays a vital role in the overall development of your personality, and the way you deal with all the moments you go through in your life.
In my view, a person himself or herself is the best source of nurturing after the childhood phase of nurturing is over, where you are brought up by parents or guardians instead of yourself. The way you look at yourself and all the actions and decisions you've made during your good and bad moments, is exactly what will aide you to either make better decisions in future, or on the other hand, adversely affect your decision-making capability in the longer run. As far as I, myself, is concerned, I try to find something to learn from even the worst moments and decisions of my life. I try to reassess how could I have done better, instead of regretting whatever I did that can't be undone. I strongly believe that regret is one thing that abstains us from improving ourselves as a part of the society, and all the moral values that we have to abide by during our course of life.
To me, it is very important to tell myself that even if my action(s) didn't yield positive outcome, it is already in the past and I can't change it, but yes I can certainly learn from it and make a better decision or react positively in another event in future. Remember, moments, instances, events - they will keep happening. You will be regularly tested throughout your life one way or another. Instead of questioning your fate and asking God "Why me?", it's way better to evaluate yourself and keep adding those missing pieces in that complex puzzle that defines your personality.
Perfection is just a myth - neither you, nor anyone around you can ever achieve that. However, improvement and learning are opportunities that life will keep offering you in various forms, it's up to you whether you want to be at the recipient or not.
Just a thought..