Little Cherine Book 12 - BPost078
The best is when she finds them because they need us and we can help. Thanks for your idea, I like the thought of finding new Roberts and Cherines (plus all the Wendys, Aganthis and so on) for millions of years. Talk about an infinite supply of love!
Robbie contrived to always be too busy or away from the taverna, his mind watching the two of them closely. He also waited for us to help Cher before he alters the scenario by bringing their Rose to life. We decided we’d helped her heal from some of the things her mother or others had said to her and agreed we have to help her face her possible future.
Dommi held her hand, for Cher to sense directly what she felt. “Robert will be affected by his suffering for the rest of his life. It will not be pleasant for you and it will give him too many hours of self-anger, and he’ll always feel a little helpless when facing men like Hayes. Cherine, your love and the link will make him the most powerful man of your reality and to leave him festering could be dangerous.”
“How will you heal him?”
“Not us, we cannot do this for him; he has to heal himself and he might choose a way that brings him peace, but you are the one who’ll pay the price. Cherine, his mother is soon going to be brought back to life and we are hoping she will still love Wilfred enough to agree to be his wife again. If that does happen, it presents Robert with his best chance of healing. We could revert him to a baby, for him to grow up with his mother and father this time. After all his parents suffered, I am very certain they will do all they can to see he grows up with their love a certainty in his heart. However, it means that the Robert you know today, he will no longer exist. Before you despair, take into consideration how things stand now. Apart from his pain that he’ll be relieved of, there is also the important fact that he cannot love you as he is now. He must not be allowed to become as powerful as the other Cherinian Roberts unless he changes, for if he chooses a different road, none could stop him. No Robert, not even ours, will fight him, we cannot, for our lives are built on empathy and love.
If he is reverted to a baby, as soon as he is old enough to understand, which will be soon if he is a Cherinian, he will have his original memories returned to him. They will not be as immediate and it will feel like he is experiencing someone else’s memories - similar to watching a movie psychically. He will remember you, but not as directly as he does now. That is good Cherine, for it means you’ll get a fresh chance with him. If he grows up again as a healthy Cherinian, he should love you - there are no guarantees, but at least you’ll have a chance.”
Cherine cut in. “I hope he does not fall in love with you as he is now. As soon as he loves you, your link will make your minds reach out for each other and your own mind and heart will be shattered by his suffering.” Cherine did not need to enforce our silence; we understood she wanted to protect Cher from a pain that would be terrible for her. She does not know anything of such suffering and her only defence would be her love for her Robert. It would not be a good way for their love to be born. A small lie that Cherine will have to confess to later…and she hates that rule (as do most of us).
“From what you are telling me, I don’t have much of an option, it is up to Robert to choose what he thinks is best for him.” Tears filled her eyes and she lost control for a second and we sensed how desperately she already loves him. “I would be happy with him as he is, if he becomes a baby he’ll grow up as a different person and I won’t understand that man as well as I understand Robert now. I’ll wait for him and if he does grow to love me, maybe it will be worth it.” She sensed the question in us and explained, “Will it have been worth it for me if I do not love the man he becomes? He’ll be soft and weaker than the Robert I know.”
*She has a good point.* Robbie sent. *Cherine, I’ve wondered whether you would have loved me as you do if I’d been as the rich Robert was.*
*I would have - just as his Cherine loves him.*
*My loves, this is strictly private and do not let her sense you - Cherine, the rich Robert is not loved by his Cherine as strongly, as wonderfully as you love me. The fights we had, the suffering we shared, even our teasing when it accidentally hurt the other, they all bonded us far tighter than any other Cherine and Robert. You know I am right because you have seen it with the Cherines who do not have your spirit. All of them love each other and their love is enduring and beautiful, but it is not the same as ours. I can sense that the fire is in her already, but she learnt how to bank it when she sensed her Robert was not ready for her and she’d have to wait a few years. Break that damn control so that she can smash through his defences.*
As Robbie sent his thought, by coincidence no doubt, Arthur’s eyes moved so that they seemed to focus on Cher. I wondered what could be going through his mind if he can see and hear us and a funny idea came to me. I shared it with Cherine and she got the giggles. Are you ready for it Arthur? What if Robert is reverted to a ten year old boy, he keeps his memories, but lives with his parents for two years so that they help him though the worst of his memories. Then, his Cherine, woos and seduces Robert so that he becomes her lover. For it to work, she’ll have to change and become a paedophile.
I was mostly teasing. There is no complex fix-it scheme, just the same donkey work of going through her memories and unclogging her wherever hurt or fear dull her brightness. We’ve done this for others and for each other so as to ensure we each maintain the peak of our potential of all we can be.
Dommi has the strongest talent, which is mostly an intuition for what she should scratch at and what can safely be left alone so as to add piquancy to the personality. There is nobody who can mislead her into thinking she has cleansed the entire wound, before she has done so. Whatever sweetness, love and so on is laid across it to mislead her or the person him/herself, Dommi senses the festering underneath. Claudia often helps her as Dommi finds her practical nature melded to her strong empathy a fine tool for guiding her. Aganthi is also good, her, what we used to call ‘street smarts’, seeing the truth when the ailing mind throws up glib emotional defences. Funnily enough, Theresa is not much good at it, she has become too soft. The rest can help, but do not have the same fine talents needed in this field.
The healing is not a one day affair. Sometimes we can see changes on a day to day basis. but then there are times when we need to pause for a few days or weeks until the personality has stabilised. Most minds create fantasies that help them survive impossible conditions and bursting those bubbles are what temporarily spins the mind out of control. The constant reinforcement of love, understanding and common sense are all that prevent the mind from shattering. Rushing through childhood problems can lead to disaster so we’ll set aside any amount of time needed. Robbie, the Unation AI, a couple of their healers and a few Muyzith are helping Robert and Wilfred. The two of them have understood that the return of Rose depends on them healing so that they can help with healing her, so they are fighting to keep their minds open to those trying to heal them. After all, if she killed herself because she could not bear her suffering, she is bound to be a messed up mind in dire need of their love and strength. As soon as it was possible, Wilfred was added to the team treating Robert. This was done with the hope that Robert will start to see Wilfred as his father. It is important he does so at the deepest level or else he’ll continue to be haunted by Hayes.
We now stay away from civilization and from alien planets. A day at the beach or walking through a tropical forest are as much excitement as they can handle. We still have in storage the beautiful boat Samuel built. After his one experience at sailing on the ocean he decided sailing is not for him and he gave it to us. We sometimes take the yacht with us to the planets we visit. We know from our two coffee farm Wilfreds in Freddie that they enjoy sailing so we did it for the new Wilfred. Once Wilfred got the sailing bug, Robbie insisted that Robert will not enjoy sailing but Wilfred would not give up, determined to take Robert sailing. Anyway, they sailed on their own and Robert enjoyed being with his father without all of us around, so it seems he might go sailing again, whether he enjoys it or not.
Marian eyed her daughter suspiciously as they took their seats for breakfast. Seeing her eyes glitter with the intensity she’d lost a long time ago must have made her think Cher is on drugs. Cher went to the buffet, filled her plate and took the long way around so as to pass next to Robert. As she drew close she wished him a good morning, gave him a cheeky smile in answer to his startled look and went to sit with Dommi. Very, very carefully, Cherine lightly enhanced Robert’s curiosity about the change in Cher, doing it in stages so that it feels natural to him. At the same time, we teased Cher until she sparkled and her laughter flushed her face. Even we wondered at how we could have thought she was not as pretty as all the other Cherines. Cherine decided this would be a good time to show her how to find that special smile. It was funny, the moment she understood, she gave that special smile to our Robbie - annoying Cherine when she felt him react. Cherine’s reaction did more to boost her self-confidence than anything else we’d done for her. At the other table the guys did all they could to draw Robert's attention to Cher when she laughed - we made certain he could not hear what we were talking and laughing about as the slight dash of mystery diminishes the eroding faculty of logic, so that it cannot compartmentalise what is being experienced, imbuing the moment with a hint of dream-like magic. I guess we were all laying it on a bit thick but we could sense that this was the right time, this was their time, they just had to start opening to each other today.
A long time ago I wrote of finding a small Sparkler population in an alternate reality and because they were starved for energy, Robbie tried folding the void so as to create a shortcut for transporting them to an energy richer area. The Sparklers pulled back at the fold because of the way it felt, as if falling off a cliff. For Robert and Cher to make the transition so that they love each other and link, I think they had to go through something similar to what the Sparklers had to endure. Everyone made a splendid effort and they now have a chance at falling in love. If it comes to the worst, we could try and convince them to give the Kolonaki flat adventure a go. One of the reasons we did not opt for it immediately is because this Robert is such an unbending personality. He just might love Cher, with her as a fourteen year old. If he falls in love with her as an eight year old, he’ll be disgusted afterwards and get on his high horse, making her life miserable for a long time.
Jade, Cassie and Angelica came to me with some interesting questions - about Bobby.
“Seeing Arthur sitting at the taverna day, we found ourselves wondering, is it safe for us to assume that whenever Arthur does something, his assuming ensures all potential dangers have been neutralised?”
“I’m not certain I understand what it is that worries you. For instance, his body image sitting at the taverna could be said to represent a number of potential dangers to us.” They glanced at each other in surprise so I surmised this was not an example they’d given any consideration to. However, it was worth pursuing. Lusalith was visiting, comfortably resting in our swimming pool. She left it to join us, drawn by our conversation - and disturbed by it. “The image we see is made of the same materials our bodies are made of - thanks to that bit of information learnt from previous images, at least we know he did want us to be the exact same species he is. We know he does not have the ability to contact or even measurably influence his healing energies, so the first question that comes to me is, how did he create his body? Whose DNA did he use? The DNA of Allan is a close match but not an exact copy. The same is true of Robbie. Are we to assume Arthur used his own DNA for creating his body image? Could he have done so solely by assuming, without the help of his healer? If his healer or healing energies provided his assuming with the information needed, we won’t need to quarantine his image. What if his healing energy had no hand in his assumptions and his imagination just asked for - and created - an exact copy of his DNA? Since he desperately wishes to be here with us, is it not likely that this is exactly what he did?”
I gave them a big open-eyes look as I asked, “There are viruses that can attack or attach themselves to DNA, some of them are what are known as slow viruses because they can lay dormant for a long time before symptoms appear. What if such a virus exists in Arthur’s body and it does not exist in our realities. If they get free and multiply, could our species - or all species, be facing extinction because we have no defences?”
“You are playing with words,” Diana called to me, “are you doing it to frighten us? You started off by saying he wanted us to be the exact same species as his, which implies we are the same genetically, not just compatible, but exactly the same, then you suggest he left out some of the defences he evolved?”
I asked, “Do you think I am responsible of committing such a basic flaw of logic? I’m flattered that you did not assume it was out of stupidity.” I sent a grin and kiss to soften the sting of my words. “What if I left out a leg of the logical argument because I assumed it was a given, taken for granted by all of us? Is it not claimed that he created a far kinder universe for us? What if he did not take that into account when assuming the creation of his body image? With that bit of assumption sandwiched between the two incompatible facts, do they now meld and become an acceptable unit of logic?”
“Not acceptable at all.” Robbie called out and we grinned at his play on words. “The scientists gave us the facts a long time ago, but as usual, my love, you re-present them to us with a different slant for us to fret over. Where are you taking this Sam, do you see a genuine reason for us worrying?”
“No. I was only providing an obvious argument as an example for the discussion, which I’ll continue with my evolving answer to the three of our loves.” I turned back to them with a smile. “I think it is safe to trust Arthur as I’m certain his assuming always incorporates his desire to keep us safe. Now, why don’t you tell me which specific assuming of his worries you?”
Angelica spoke for them, using only one word. “Bobby.”
I gave them a quizzical look. “That brief an answer does not enlighten me as to what your concerns are.” I frowned. “Surely you’re not worrying that his ‘hate’ defence system could be bred into mankind if he has children?” The girls minds anxiety spiked, they looked at each other and I knew it was not the question which had brought them to me. “Relax, it is not a genetic condition. What is worrying you?”
“When he wrote his story of the Boxee Robert and Cherine, he had the Sparklers check the previous incarnations of Bobby and they discovered he had been a Gnolat. It occurred to us that when Arthur wrote the story he did not make any assumptions for our reality with regard to what he wrote because it was only intended to be a story for our amusement. When he gave in to pressure and changed the font of his writing, did he add to it his assuming that nothing of the Gnolat remains a part of Bobby? Doesn’t his ‘hate’ defence actually prove he has inherited something from his previous incarnation?”
Sol interrupted us, “Would you like Solomon to join us? I believe the Boxee Solomon has had discussions with him.” Isn’t it funny how telepaths don’t find out what the other knows unless told. I mean, I was not aware of when it was that Sol shared this info from ‘her’ Solomon. The girls and I nodded our agreement and Solomon joined us within a few minutes.
“At that time I had the discussions with my Boxee alternate, he was not knowledgeable with regard to Arthur, his assumptions and the detailed history of the Gnolats. He was concerned about Gnolats existing in his reality, as he too worried as to whether Arthur had assumed the spore reaching his reality. I reassured him that when Arthur creates a reality he does not create it from the time he created it. It comes into existence far back in time, close to when the prime reality was created - by close, I did assume there could be a delay in the billions of years, but that their reality has existed for at least a few billion years, which means it has been infested by the spore.”
Robbie nodded. “I’d say your assumptions are logical, though only assumptions until Arthur confirms he assumed as we think he did.” Well Arthur, we are at the taverna, would you like to comment?
“We’d prefer you re-state it so that we are comforted by the words from your mouth.”
“Thank you Arthur.”
Our debates regarding the assuming of Arthur did not end that day. We stopped at an alternate Earth to restock and visitors were brought by the local Cherinians. Among the Normals was one who radiated power and yet he was not a Talent. We did not notice who’d brought him and when he joined us at the taverna without introduction, some of us chose to surround him in case it is necessary to defend our loves from him. He ordered a drink and listened to us as friends of other species continued the debate.
In the hope of taking the debate in a different direction, one of us said that some people are born with a psychic spring of gushing dark-water that constantly threatens to flood their world with sadness. Others, like Goldi, Gina, Cassie, for example, their inner world is blest with the sunshine of joy, a tiny dark-cloud of sadness only passing over their world for brief moments. Normals think that Cherinians are all like Cassie, their inner worlds joyous. The truth is sadder than they would like to imagine it is. First off, opening heart and soul to empathy is not exactly the best recipe for a life constantly filled with sunny joy. Secondly, becoming a Cherinian or a Talent does not alter the basics of our personality. We have to work hard to do so and the most effective way is by trying to alter ourselves while we are in the void. That is what we have been taught by experience and it is what we tell each other. It was what we were talking about with guests sitting amongst us.
“Imagine,” a voice said softly, as if the speaker spoke to himself, and we hushed willing to hear what it is we should imagine. “Imagine,” he said again, aware he now had our attention, “that you substituted the words sadness and joy with love and hate and you applied your arguments, the same arguments, to them. Would you arrive at similar conclusions and cling to the same beliefs?”
For more than a century we have enjoyed the same arguments, for each of us has settled for the comfort of an opinion that suits us and it is nice exploring nuances that lead us back to what we already think is the correct answer. Without convoluted arguments, just with a request that changes the angle, forcing us to take a new look, the stranger filled me with dismay. I am not dismayed because he has caused a change in what I believe, I welcome ideas that make me take a fresh look at what I accept as fact; my dismay grows from the shock of realising I have spent over a century of failing to think my arguments through to their logical conclusion.
Robbie asked, “Friend, have you ever suffered through a nightmare, chased by something so terrifying that your bones melt? Have you ever turned to confront it?”
“Your question is an extension of the subject under discussion?”
Robbie grinned. “Most of us, even of different species and cultures, once we adopt a belief, it is just as difficult to re-examine it with clarity and honesty as it is to face our monsters. Not only because we love what we believe or because we paid a heavy price for those beliefs, but also because the aggregate of our beliefs are what make us the persons we are. We are a compound of all we believe in. Having shattered a part of what makes me the person I am, can you provide us with a new perspective?”
The eyes of the stranger are a vivid blue, sparkling with the energy that obviously drives his mind, yet his face is hard as granite and emotionless. It showed no response to Robbie’s humour as he dryly replied, “For as long as you ask the question, you shall find there is no answer.”
“As long as we ask?…implying that if we stop asking we’ll have the answer?” He glanced at Empathia, whose mind was suddenly sparkling. “You find sense in what he said?”
She nodded. “As long as we concentrate on searching for love, we never find it…sometimes we find it without realising we did because we rush off on our search before we’ve given ourselves the time to feel. Once we give ourselves fully to experiencing love, whether we love or are loved or not, we no longer have time nor inclination to ask, for we discover we are love.”
Alice nodded eagerly. “That was what was meant when it was said that Cassie and the others are blessed with an inner joy. It is not that they concentrate on joy, they are too busy experiencing life and love for them to worry about whether their lives are happy - and so they are truly happy.”
The stranger, who still had not offered us a name, spoke softly, flooring us with another idea. He held a glass of white wine high for all to see as he spoke. “This glass holds wine from the Chara Wine Estate. I know it is wine. I have tasted and know its delicate bouquet, so I need not assume certain of its properties. There is certain information I have that I do not need to be aware of for me to assume its reality and the limits reality places upon its potential. For instance, perhaps this wine could suddenly turn into a pineapple jelly? Can you see that it would not be necessary for me to consciously assume it cannot - under normal circumstances, since we are not in a reality of magic. Let us presume my assumptions can influence the wine so that it does not turn to jelly when a prankster uses his or her powers to make it become jelly, would it be required of me that I do so consciously or would the unconscious assumption - the assumption that would become a conscious assumption if I were first warned that it were to happen, prevent the wine from changing?
It is known that all philosophers have been puzzling over this question ever since they learnt about our author, so perhaps my question adds little to what is known or assumed about his powers over us? It is accepted, is it not, that he did not need to consciously assume each detail, with one broad assumption he dealt with the myriad positive and negative details needed for a universe to come into existence. You spoke of the sum of your beliefs making you the person you are. Robert, would you accept my statement as valid if I were to say our minds are despots, dictatorial and limiting in what flexibility they allow us - even if we try to keep an open mind about everything?”
Robbie nodded so I cut in before he could verbally agree. “My name is Samantha. The way you have stated it, is inflexible, making the mind less than it is - or, can be. The example that proves you cannot use one blanket description for the human mind exists before your eyes and yet you ignore it.” Having given my name, courtesy would demand he now gives us his; I wonder whether he will.
I asked him, “Were you trying to make the point that Arthur’s assumptions, those he assumes and those he has not thought of, but would assume in a negative manner if he thought of them, are stopping us from finding him?”
“Before I answer you, I’d like to correct Arthur. What if theirs have been imposed over yours because they made theirs become a truth before you could make your assumptions. I suspect it is so because you wanted it to be so, even if you think you did not - otherwise they would have failed in their attempts, despite you not knowing what they were trying to achieve. Samantha, perhaps expectations would be a better word. For instance, as an example only - you have realised the a-realities were not created by Arthur. Since there is a dearth of methods to be investigated for finding him, reason suggests you investigate the a-realities to try to get to him from there as the author of those realities might not have thought of making negative assumptions about our ability to contact his reality. You keep it a secret from Arthur so that he does not block you …but…even the other author would not expect it to be possible for characters from his imagination to become real in his reality and, though Arthur is unaware of your efforts, his expectations are exactly the same, so you are doubly blocked from that direction.”
Luckily we soared out of our depression before leaving the reality. I asked around and we found where Derek Brantley lives and works. I went to visit.
“Mrs Teller, this is a pleasant surprise! Do come in.” He stood aside for me to enter.
I saw amusement in his eyes as I passed by him and taking a seat I asked, “My visit amuses you?”
He chuckled. “Considering how our society belligerently warns children not to open their doors to strangers, it is refreshing having a little girl enter my apartment without my having to fear your presence being a police trap.” Robbie and the girls laughed and I admit I also smiled.
“Perhaps they should make laws to protect adults from Cherinian children?” I sweetly asked. He gave a surprised laugh so I gave him a moment. “I’m here because I became very angry with you.”
He nodded. “You made it obvious.”
“I know. I hope you are not one of those people who think that Cherinians are supposed to be beings of sweetness, love and empathy only? Since I am deprived of the right to strike out at those who anger or hurt me, all I’m left with is the right to let you know how I feel. After you departed Freddie, it was pointed out to me that it is possible that in this reality nobody has mentioned the self imposed rule everyone in all realities observe about mentioning to me anything that could reduce our chances of bringing Arthur to us.”
He took a seat and stared at me for a moment. “I was aware and did so deliberately.” He smiled, totally at ease, as far as I could sense. “Are you going to get angry with me again?”
“You don’t want us to succeed!? Why?”
“Do you really find it that difficult to understand why many people would not like to have him brought to our realities?” He frowned. “You and your family, you think that whatever you want is what everybody wants so you never bother to ask how we feel about the changes you bring us. I’ve got news for you - there are many of us who do not want you to bring the author to our Syncosmi. We don’t need any fucking gods! Let him die in his reality so that we can be free of him - just like the a-realities are now. We don’t need him to continue existing.”
I did not leave, for the longer I sat listening to him, the more he told me. If he spoke the truth - and I think he did, as he knows it, it seems there is a new inter-reality group and they are growing quickly. As with us, they realised their first contacts should be their alternates. They have been employing Talents to carry them to alternate realities to make contact and organise themselves.
Back at the taverna, I shared with everyone and then verbally shared my analysis of the situation (it is better this way as they are then free to make up their own minds instead of being swayed by my feelings and beliefs). “As long as only Normals join their group, I do not see them becoming a major movement or influence. Should they succeed in enrolling Talents, then they’ll be in a position to influence more Normals - and maybe even some Cherinians.”
Robbie shook his head. “No Sam, whether they remain a small group or they grow, we have a responsibility - we must try to show them there is nothing to fear, Arthur is not a threat to any of us.”
Alice said, “Robert, the responsibility is not as open-ended as you imply. The only responsibility we have is to explain what the dangers are and what our own humanity demands of us. Extending the rights of any minority so that they control what we do is wrong and we must not allow ourselves to succumb to the dictatorship of the few.” We grinned as we sensed Cherine egging her on, backing her.
As she felt us and knew we’d sensed her, Cherine spoke aloud. “I still remember how being politically correct, or ‘p.c.’ as it was called, affected us before the world was changed by aliens and the Cherinians making an appearance. Dommi, do you remember how we laughed at the law they made in the U.K. about snails? People with vegetable plots tried to protect their crop by killing the snails so, because some tiny group complained, a law was passed making it illegal to kill snails…the plot owners were not even allowed to throw the snails off their land…but restaurants were allowed to keep escargot on their menus.” She grinned at Alice. “That is what is called dictatorship by the few by you, but is called deliciously funny irony by me. When the majority are willing to sit back, empowering the politicians they voted for to do whatever they want, we are looking at another ‘Fall of the Roman Empire’.”
Robbie laughed. “How about a debate. Half of us argue the reasons why it would have been better for the world if Cherinians had put in an appearance after the fall and the other half of us argue why it would have been better if we’d appeared at least twenty years earlier, avoiding much of the stupidity they enacted into law.”
Cherine’s eyes sparkled. “What about a team to argue it happened at exactly the right time?”
We were startled by his suddenly taking part in our discussion and then Cherine giggled. “Sorry Arthur, you can’t take part…you have to believe as you want to argue, after all, you made it happen that way.” Even Alki and Allan laughed with us as he pulled a face (on the wall screen).
Byisina has been with us all this time, apart from when visiting alternate Earths. She has never wanted to visit with us and went on her own, sometimes forming a physical presence and sometimes she would infiltrate the internet and watch the craziness of our species as they exchanged comments in what they thought was secure privacy. She never told us what she learnt, but there were times we could sense how badly something upset her, disturbing her equilibrium. We never sensed any change in her attitude towards us, not that we had anything to compare to from any other time. During the entire period of our helping Robert Hayes, his father and his Cher, she stayed close to us and when we offered, she shared from us. I was not the only one dying to hear some kind of comment from her, but I realised she might never tell us anything more than her agreement or withholding of permission with regard to linking her people. I know we should not allow her refusal to stop us, that each individual should have the choice made available to them, but, if she refuses us after spending so much time studying us in depth, then I think we should first take the time to try to understand what forced that decision upon her.
Having Arthur’s image sitting at our taverna, in appearance listening to all we say, has forced a fresh self-awareness on us and we are questioning some of the ‘improvements’ we’ve come to accept as being for the good of others or, in general, of ourselves as Cherinians. His comment about us benefiting from the search for new Roberts and Cherines, that they are as children to us and will help us stay alive to the wonders of our universe, has led to us re-examining some of the ways we have developed for making it easier and the adjustments smoother for them becoming Cherinians and couples. A good example would be my recent explanation about how Dommi with Claudia and Aganthi can speed up the process of re-igniting the spirit of any Cherine or Robert who has lived through very difficult times. Our first question was, is what we do as beneficial for them as we think it is? If it is, fine. If there is any doubt, are we doing it to make it easier for ourselves - or is some combination of the two truths valid? Some are beginning to voice a concern that we are missing out on a unique opportunity for them to grow and mature through their own experiences. There are many pro and con arguments as there is no one truth. In some cases what Dommi does is more necessary as their spirits have been broken and they cannot recover without help. In other cases it is not as necessary, but it does avoid forcing them to endure pain - this is the most difficult one for us. We find the idea of standing back so as to allow them to feel pain in the hopes that it will mature them, as necessary but also abhorrent. Our empathy also forces everyone in Freddie to share in the pain and we are not clear on what the ethics of that are.
There have been Roberts and Cherines who’ve needed years. An example, the crippled Robert who’d suffered through a panga attack and his Cherine who’d been an embittered orphan. Those who have been hurt as badly as them have needed many years and the slightest changes and growth provided us with great joy, a flooding of love and the same satisfaction a parent feels when they see their child mature into the kind of person they dream of him or her becoming. However, we must also keep in mind that our new ‘awareness’ could be a subconscious wish by us to prolong their stay and coming to maturity. That raises the question, can our subconscious be so un-Cherinian?
Since I seem to be in an introspective mood, perhaps I should explain an important, though unexpected side effect of the floodgates of empathy being opened when certain types of personalities are linked. Here are the terms used and explanations:
Robert and Cher have become lovers and their Marian didn’t cause any trouble! For a few minutes everyone pretended not to notice her moving her things to his home and then we laughed at ourselves. I extended myself to sense his father and was amused when I realised that Wilfred is mostly curious about the situation and a little anxious. He feels he has been growing closer to his son and is now wondering whether Robert will spend time with him anymore. It feels as if his soul is fluttering like a candle in a storm. I like this Wilfred more than I’ve liked some others, so I joined him at his table.
I kept my eyes soft with concern as I talked. “You’ve seen most of a telling and think you know what this moment signifies, but the truth is, you don’t have a clue. Would you think it presumptuous of me if I try to explain in a way I think will help you understand - I’d like this day to be one of joy for you also.”
“If you can, I’d appreciate it. I permanently feel as if I’m wrapped in cotton wool.”
I let my family know what I intended, arranged for deliveries to be made and took Wilfred’s hand in mine. “We’re going somewhere quiet where you’ll have as much time as you need.” I jumped to the prison planet. As he saw the change in scenery he went into shock and hyper ventilated. My healer helped calm him as I made him walk at the edge of the beach. If the prisoners were surprised that I’d come as a girl, they remained wary of approaching me. I sat on a fallen palm tree and once he’d sat by me I explained about the planet and the men he could see. It was quite sweet of him, for a moment his instincts took over and feeling I must be in danger from the men he felt protective of me. He gave an embarrassed chuckle and paid me the compliment of ignoring the men and looked into my eyes.
“I can’t believe you intend leaving me here with them…”
I giggled. “If I did, Ivgos would never forgive me, he likes you.”
“The others wouldn’t mind? I’ve been that much of a pain in the…behind?”
“Wilfred Teller angling for a compliment? You are different!” I laughed as he pulled a face. “Come with me then, I just want to check that everything is alright with the men and then I’ll take you to Athens.”
“I’d prefer London.”
The prisoners have never seen me laugh the way I did as we walked towards them. “Let’s go to Athens first and if you still want to go to London, I’ll take you. Deal?”
If my loves had been with we’d have been rolling on the floor, out of control when he saw the house and realised this is all that Athens is made of. Laughing on my own is not as much fun. As he entered the house, he stopped and stared at the revolver lying on the sideboard and then pointedly turned to look at me. This was where I worried he might make it difficult for us. “I’ll be leaving for three days and a bow and arrows would have been more suitable to the environment, but I felt you’d be more comfortable with a weapon of your period.”
“What is the point of all this?”
“You need time to catch up with all the crazy stuff that’s happened to you and the best way to achieve a return to normalcy is to leave you on your own with nothing to do but think and remember and…if you want, cry. The way I never stop talking, my staying would be counter-productive. I’ll return every three days to check on you.” I gripped his hand. “Don’t sit in the house all day, take long walks. If anything does happen and you die, don’t worry, we won’t leave you dead, Robbie will bring you back. Once we return to Freddie, I will keep my promise and explain about your Robert and his Cherine in a way that ensures there is only joy and love in your heart for both of them. Once you are at peace, then will be the time for us to bring back Rose. For a long while, you’ll need to be strong for her.”
I showed him that the bedroom closet has clothes suitable for walking in the area, made certain he knows how to handle the food machines (how to choose what he wants to eat or drink or smoke), prepared a meal for the two of us, toasted him with a glass of Blue Nun, kissed his cheek and left. He followed and called out as I walked away, “Are you returning to Freddie?”