4:22 AM and Panicked

in #spirituality3 years ago

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It was 4:22 am this morning and I was scrolling through my instagram feed. For what seemed like forever, I thought about my life overall, my career, my love life and even what I wanted for breakfast. I couldn't help but be in a panic mode about my future and where I was heading. Was I going in the right direction? Am I happy? What needs to change? How quickly can I change it? Priding myself on being a great manifester, why haven't certain things manifested? Were my desires not the best choices for me? For hours, I was experiencing a constant internal battle.

When I am tired, I ALWAYS think the worst and don't always think clearly. Stuff comes up that I probably wouldn't stress about otherwise. But this has been happening to me alot lately, way more than usual. In the past, when this does happen, I place more emphasis on my practice and when I do that, things get back to a normal, relaxed flow. However, to be honest, I have focused more than ever on my practice recently. I frequently meditate. I run on the treadmill. I go to yoga. I state affirmations. And as recently mentioned, I started even practicing breathwork. Every day I try to take at least one step towards my goals. WHY IS THIS ANXIETY HAPPENING? AND WHY NOW?

I currently heard that how you spend your first hour in the morning impacts your day dramatically. On just a few hours of sleep this morning, ready to start the day, I decided to prepare myself for a great day with a positive guided meditation.

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This meditation was a little bit different than my normal meditations. Instead of hearing positive affirmations like I normally do, the speaker asked a series of questions about what the listener was grateful for. As I answered each question in my mind, I started to feel an emotional shift. When the meditation was over, I realized something major. How can we enjoy our days and expect more in our lives, if we are not grateful for what we currently have? And I mean, really grateful. Now, of course I am grateful and I constantly say it all the time. I have it alot easier than most people do in life, living in a happy home with food on the table. I know that and I am grateful for it. But today, I didn't just say it. I thought about it. I felt the feelings of gratefulness in my heart as I listed in my mind each person, place, thing and experience I was grateful for in life. I spent a full 20 minutes just thinking about all that was good in my life and how things were accomplished when I wasn't always sure things would come into fruition.

That being said, I decided to adopt a gratitude list in my practice. I realize that no matter what I do in my life, I must be grateful and really feel it. I think focusing at least a few minutes a day on gratitude, I can be grateful for everything that I have accomplished and I can be excited for what is it to come. I have witnessed storms and rainbows in life and both, I have handled accordingly.

I also told myself once again, I am human. These things are going to happen and when they do, I need to feel what I need to feel and move on. I've learned that life can come with ups and downs, but how you handle it, is really the key.

What do you guys do to manage stress and anxiety?

Hope my story helps!

Second Image taken from Pexels.com.

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Thanks for sharing Brit. I guess I haven't felt anxious in a while, but I remember for a few years back there it - was fairly constant. It drew me into spiritual practice, and I started watching YouTube videos of a wise guide called Mooji. That calmed me down a lot. Stress seems to be a lot to do with thought patterns and habits for me. I have learned to pay attention to this, and then keep a little space around those thoughts. They seem to eventually run out of power without me feeding them.

A few days ago I downloaded a free audio book on manifestation, it is called Becoming Magic. Kind of synchronistic that you would mention manifestation and also gratitude. This book summed up, talks about how manifesting is largely about the space we are in now, cultivating the state of gratitude is super important. In that way we are actually energetically setting ourself up to 'recieve'.

It's a beautiful thing really, taking some time to just appreciate everything that supports us and plays out just for us each day. Sometimes on the way home I just sit on a park bench and watch the birds. Everything seems quite miraculous when we get out of the way.

I think that the intense experiences at night might be a good sign, even though it might not seem it. Often times these kind of mind attacks come when spaciousness is starting to open up inside, it's a natural process. Also I hear the 4am hour is the best time to meditate! (according to yogic science)

Thanks again for sharing, apparently I had a lot to say :P

Thank you so much for reading and commenting on my post. I read your posts regularly as I learn so much each time. Still to this day, I am trying to change certain thought patterns. I am hoping, that like your experience, certain thoughts will run out of power.

I also think it's really amazing you sit outside. They say sitting outside is the best for the mind. I want to follow Mooji and download Becoming Magic. Maybe one day I can sit outside and listen to the book.

Also, I too heard 4AM is the best time to meditate! Maybe I should change my routine :).

Thank you for commenting! Thank you for such great thoughts! Have a wonderful day today!

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