I WANT TO GO HOME
I arrived at Cebu City in the 1st week of March. Hoping that I can finish all the trainings so that I can now on board in the ship. Together with that hope was my ambitious mind to start my own family. My age is now over in calendar. I think it's the right time to start building family. But all my ambitions are getting faded because of this corona virus.
When the quarantine was ordered in every community. I thought it will be fine. I thought everything will be alright. But when the two weeks has passed. I began to feel anxious because I'm afraid. The thought that everything will be alright was replaced with fear. What if it will get worse? Too many questions that came into my mind but actually I just want to go home.
Seeing my friends and family that doing like today is just an ordinary day. I really want to go home. It's okay if I can't go outside for a while as long as I'm home. I know it's not possible for now. I know it's hard for it to happen now. But just let me dream it for now while I was sitting in the window watching outside.
I forced myself that it's fine. I forced myself to think that it's just like home. I can't go outside and have fun. I knew it but it's fine as long as I'm in a place where I call home. The more I think of it too much. It just makes me desperate to go home because there's something in my negative thoughts that I can't.
Everyday I woke up in the same place, in the same feeling. I won't lie that I cried sometimes not being able to go home. The happy memories keep on coming into my mind that made me think, "maybe it's just a memory." But I really want to go home now.
thank you for reading
image is mine