Clockwork Steem ( A Poem)

in #thealliance3 years ago (edited)


A relaxing grey with splashing green
Branches reach the rays between
Turn on the news, the podcast or screen
To listen to the daily scream...
Cycles of what violence lurks
An endless chain of Circle Jerks
Who did this and when and why
As scrambled text goes scrolling by...
This and that and up and down
Who shouts the loudest gets the crown?
So I leave to you a thought this day
As Sparrows chirp so far away...
If we are the change that will ascend
Then which pieces are the first to mend?

2018 @battleaxe (copywritten by Bob)
Shoutout to SteemStarNetwork, YouAreHope, PimpYourPostThursdays



A relaxing grey with splashing green

I love the use of color to engage the reader and begin to paint the setting that will absorb them into the piece and deliver further impact later on.

I also paints a false sense of peacefulness, lures the reader into a false complacency, which one can argue is also a role of mass media conglomerates, a point that is quickly highlighted.

To listen to the daily scream...

Is a brilliantly evocative way to put it. It reaches a boil and spills out in waves, identified here as the violence and bureaucracy in the brilliant wordplay that composed this striking couplet:

Cycles of what violence lurks
An endless chain of Circle Jerks

The seemingly goal of this media, to cause confusion and lead its consumer into an apathetic state, is presented in my favorite line:

This and that and up and down

as it so brilliantly highlights the disorienting process.

All of this is wonderfully framed by the Clockwork Orange allusion, a piece that dwells much and more on the brainwashing process that is mass media and its ability to corrupt, distort and twist.

All in all, a great evocative piece and fun read @battleaxe. I appreciated it ending on a question, a seeming call to action to the reader to identify these pieces in their lives and evaluate which are most harmful and where to focus efforts.

It's a questions for everyone, especially in the states these day, really enjoyed the read; thank you so much for the share.

Do we concentrate on the daily noise or the trees and nature? I'll take the sparrow, he sticks it out till spring. Very good words @battleaxe. Noise isn't effective, if no one is listening.

lots of screamers in a landscape of silence/deaf ears

Yes and how sad is that @battleaxe ?? Thats one nice poem by the way, with the time that passes you surprise me more and more with your abilit to talk on things which most would not and in a way that most could not to boot ))

This is FABULOUS! What a great piece of writing! Love the meter, love the rhyme, love the way you spent your time! Awesome sauce! 😊

thank you so much, glad you liked it :)

Plus a poetic reply :D

lol, nice post!

:P Follow for Follow??? :P

"an endless chain of circle jerks" - stuck on that line for more than a moment. We will find a way to take care of the community ourselves, we don't need no stinkin central authority. We have the numbers

wow.... I didn't know you're a poet too @battleaxe... Beautiful rhyme with expressive meanings... well well well done :)

thank you sir, much appreciated

I do get that it's about Steem; yet, in the way it's written, it can be generalised and applied to a wider contest (especially the last couple of lines).

"Cycles of what violence lurks
An endless chain of Circle Jerks"
Circle Jerks as culture's nouns and actions keeping the sleeping anxious and distracted. Excellent!

thank you , especially coming from such a good wordsmith

You are BA! :) I like the soulfulness and the brutally honest edges of your work. Peace.

Brutal Honesty gets her in a spot o' trouble now and again :D

you mean the part where I back up everything and tell the people trying to play others that all the aces fell out of their sleeves ;)
when you throw others under da bus remember that 18 wheeler is waitin' for ya' round da bend

Busses = 6 Wheels
Semi = 18 Wheels
:eek: ;)

That was kind of chilling (in a good way!)

thank you! one of those long stretches of grey before spring, things seem a bit more intense or .....spookeh

Very nice poem. Freeflow is good and it actually makes sense. ( Unlike some poems I've read ).

Not to be a dick, but I think you misspelled "podcast", it says "podast" in your poem. Good job otherwise though, I like it!

yes I did, grammar is secondary to my art

That's understandable, you're a good writer :)

my artttttt, he he

I agree with jeremy.... it does really have applications to many things (which makes it a great poem!!!)

and i have been feeling the same way as you. Why all the chatter?? can't we just find a way to break off from that and fuel a sub-community within steemit that is all about the great aspects... and let the chatter take care of itself???

The thing is... i agree. less talking more action.

i've tried to stir up people with more power and a stronger voice to DO something. but... then i decided. fine. i'll do something i don't care if i have a small voice. i'll affect my small community. LOL

anyway. i appreciate this. maybe i'll grab you for some feedback when i'm ready to throw out my idea. hehehe it won't be a life-changing, earth-shattering idea. but at the very least - maybe it will add some positivity into the mix. seems like we're in short supply these days!

Nice poetry! Joy

That's nicely written.

thats really cool!

If we are the change that will ascend
Then which pieces are the first to mend?

Or what rules are the first to break
And systems to take down for freedom's sake
I know it's a hard thing to take
But trust me once you know it fake
You'll gladly watch it fall apart
And mark that moment as the start
Of your life without the rope
That's been holding you from hope
So tell me now what shall we break
To stop this bloody spirit ache?

I guess your poem got me a little emotional here ;)

I like what you did with this! :D

This post has received a 2.84 % upvote from @boomerang thanks to: @battleaxe